Wrestling With the Demon of Doubt

Okay, so looking at the date of my last post, I’ve been AWOL for a while. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I’ve been (paradoxically, I might add) trying to get the final plotting bits done. At the same time I’ve been doubting everything I’ve been doing.

The litany of pre-Nano jitters is the same every year: can I do this, nobody wants to read what I write, what makes me think I can be a “real” writer (whatever that is), blah, blah, and blah again.

It didn’t get any better yesterday. I was literally afraid to put my fingers to the keys because I didn’t think I could just do it.

Today everything changed.

It’s now 3:33 p.m. So far today I’ve been able to do 5,534 words. That’s more than one-tenth of Nano done! And the day’s not over.

I think I’m going to go pound on the keyboard some more.



4 thoughts on “Wrestling With the Demon of Doubt

  1. Self doubt is the worst part, but I’m glad you managed to plow through it. Just keep pounding on that keyboard and you’ll make it all the way 🙂

    Best of luck!

  2. Holy cow, that’s an amazing word count! Congrats!

    I’ve been wrestling with self-doubt since August. I’m finally (re)learning to write for myself. Who cares if no one else likes it? (At least for the first draft, eh?) If I can write to entertain myself or learn something new, that’s good enough for me. I’m rediscovering my sense of playfulness. Is that what happened for you today?

    • Hi Sione! We’ll have to support each other in kicking self-doubt’s shabby butt to the curb. Truly, I’m not sure exactly what happened. It just kinda did. I wish I did know, because maybe I could make it happen again. It could be that I’ve done so much math regarding my students that my creative brain just decided to explode all over the page.

      I’ll just keep pounding the keys and see if anything comes out besides randomness.

      Have a great day, and thanks for stopping by!

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