The Crap Keeps Coming…

I’m mentally exhausted. So, my achievements so far have been minimal.

I didn’t make my blog on Wednesday. There wasn’t really much to say except I’m still feeling lost and miserable. Todd’s picture is on my desktop. I look at it every day, and part of me wonders “Where did you go? I can still look at your picture and hear you. I can visualize you in this room, hearing your laughter and your snarky comments.” It’s all very confusing.

Oh, and to top it all off, I lost my second job on Tuesday night because she could no longer afford to pay me. Sigh.

I did get some planning done. In fact, that’s looking up. My beat sheet for Immortal Blood is almost completed as far as the major structural points are concerned. That should be done by the end of the day. Then I can start filling in the scenes and get down to planning those.

Since I’ve been working at a college for several years, my professional wardrobe deteriorated into non-existence. But, I got my first interview outfit yesterday. Hopefully I can get some interviews to use it for!

Here’s hoping next week will be better!

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21 thoughts on “The Crap Keeps Coming…

  1. Take care, Lara. Do what you need to — if it’s escaping into your fictional world, that’s great, but if you need to do other things to work through your friend’s death, that is completely understandable. I hope you find some peace in the coming days.

    • Thanks much. I’m not sure how to find peace – or how to work through it, for that matter. This is a new event for me. I’ve only had one other death to deal with, but when mom died we were all prepared for it, because she’d been ill for so long. Todd’s death was a bit too precipitous. Not to mention the fact that he was so bloody young.

      They say that God never gives you more to deal with than you can handle. Well, I sure wish He didn’t have such faith in me lately…

      Enjoy your writing, and see you Wednesday!

  2. Hang in there, Lara, just take some time to veg out. Do something totally off the grid, take a day trip somewhere unexpected, stay up all night watching oldie movies, whatever you haven’t done in a really long time. Jobs, deadlines, whatever will still be there when you are ready to tackle them.

    Will be praying for you.

    • Thanks for the prayers, Chris. From your mouth to God’s ears.

      I spent a few hours today watching a couple hours of Ken Burns’ documentary “The Civil War.” It sure puts my own struggles in perspective – and maybe makes me a little stronger.

  3. Holy cow, I just read your last week’s entry and… wow, I don’t see how you could be anything *but* mentally exhausted. Hugs, and do what you need to to get through it, whether that’s take some time off, or focus really heavily on the job hunt or your writing. Good luck!

  4. I am really sorry for your loss. I have lost young people suddenly in my life as well. I found that there is a whole different level of grief that comes with that because it is so unexpected. Take care and do what you need to do to care for yourself during this time. Everyone handles death differently.

  5. My condolences for your loss. And I’m also sorry about you job. You’re having a tough time, but I want to commend you for trying to work through it. Please take care of yourself. Best of luck with your job hunt.

  6. And now another loss! I’m so sorry to hear that. LIfe is very heavy at a time like this.

    But a new interview outfit? Your ability to get that at a time like this says tons about your resilience! Well done!

    Blessings and Bear ugs!

  7. We’ve talked off and on at work, so I know things are okay at best most times. The best thing you can do is try to keep moving forward, be it with a new job (which I hope you find soon) or to just keep through the motions of each day. Whenever things get overwhelming, take some time (unless you’re in the middle of traffic) to get recentered and realign yourself with what it is you’re trying to do.

    Nothing was meant to be easy, or we’d all be skinny super models with loads of cash and fancy houses. OH! And we wouldn’t be freaking out about global warming because that’d have already been solved.

    Joking aside, I think that so far you’ve been coping well. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and don’t forget that I’m just a phone call away! We can meet up at Starbucks even, and practice stress relief with yarn. 😉

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